have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
