my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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