maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
