hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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