Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
