Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
should my penis look like a turkey
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize