watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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