My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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