It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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