You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
