I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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