sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
