Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize