theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
