We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
