Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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