Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
