i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
