There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize