We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Don't make out with my wife yet
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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