they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
