That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
