Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
how drunk are you?
Several
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
