IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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