I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
