If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
