Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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