we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
