she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
