Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
