I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
