We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
