Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize