I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
