We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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