this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
