that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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