dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
