hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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