Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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