So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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