I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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