We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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