i don't like sucking hair
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Can Purell be used as lube?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize