I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
