Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize