Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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