Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
