There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
