Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
