I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
