I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize