the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
