FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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