I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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