Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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