I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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