I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
