he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
