I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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