it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize