I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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