I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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