I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
