i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You made out with two different species that night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
